OMG THIS BLOG IS SOO OLD!! I originally wrote this blog in a very blase manner. I didn't think much of it, but thats how i used to write my stuff anyways. I remember a time when I used to do at least about a blog every week or at least a few times a week, they would be lengthy and in detail of how i was feeling.
this one though intrigues me because i sent it to one of my old editors for the teen newspaper i used to write for. I sent it to him to let him know what I had been doing on myspace, not knowing how he was going to take it... and to my amazement i got an email back from him praising me how if made him feel, "inspired to go for a goal". this is when I knew I had a profound affect on people. At the time i felt like he was kinda pulling my leg and was trying to be nice, but action speaks louder than words because now he is one of the writers for the NY Daily Newspaper. I will never forget your kind words Barry, thanks so much for the feedback.
This blog was about me of course and how I see myself fitting into this world, this picture is actually what I wanted to have tattooed onto my body at one point, its an oil painting by one of my favorite artist Josephine Wall. I don't think I can endured the pain of getting this done now but I sure do love to stare at it when I see it each time... I see myself as the girl in the painting... lowering myself from the heavens and giving the messages to people of earth to guide and look over them.
This is from April 29, 2006:
Feels good to be me sometimes!
I was having a unique conversation with someone earlier today. It was during my last blog also. Funny how I can step aside myself and my hurt but yet be able to have a full on conversation. Not complaining I think its great! It shows me that I am strong and I can get myself out of any rut.
Well this person and I were talking about tattoos. I told them how much I wanted one but I felt that it just wouldn't fit right with me. They told me I should get a tattoo of an Iris (the flower) on my shoulder. First thing that came into mind was that old saying, "I wear my heart on my shoulder or sleeve". I began to think again and I said to this person, " you know... tee hee I always felt that tattoos are things that are put on the body to either express that person's ideals or beliefs, something that represents them - to also mark a certain emotion or period that the person went through in life, and if I were to do that, I would be covered head to toe!"
It's bad enough that I have such sensitive skin that I scar easily, those scars are constant reminders of my past. I don't let it hinder my spirits because I have grown to accept them for what they are and the stories they tell, no matter how funny or sad they were for me.
Then I began to think again,(NO SURPRISE THERE) I don't really need a tattoo to fully express myself. I mean I am not knocking people who have them because I admire tattooed individuals, lol... but I believe that my personality and who I am can only be expressed by the life span of the actual Iris flower.
Like the life of an Iris flower, I am born and blossom when the surrounding environment is just right - I need to take care of my precious petals, purify myself with water, and ground myself into the dirt so that I can observe my surroundings and learn life as humble as I can. At times I will wilt and lose sense of life, direction, and drive when I am mistreated or neglected... but when I am enlightened by the sun (my own revelations and thoughts/aspirations) I come out of the darkness and see the light ahead of me, and I become born again - I start to blossom again and my petals are more colorful than before. As the reborn flower, I begin to continue to live my life with great vigor and tenacity.
The shades and colors of the Irises also expresses the different sides to my personality. The blue Irises represent the calm, tranquil, shy, reflective, protective, purified individual I can be. The purple Irises represent the spiritual, intuitive, honest, enlightened person I am often at times. The red hues in an Iris, demonstrate the powerful presence I posses at times. While the soft pink shades show the compassionate, motherly, affectionate, loyal, feminine, caring, and loving individual that I am.
Iris was also the Greek rainbow goddess. She served as messenger to Zeus and would ride her multicolored rainbow from the sky onto the earth and give messages to the mortals on the earth. I feel like I have just done that!
No comments:
Post a Comment